Dating in 2020 and how to deal with emotional baggage that comes with it

Dating is a word that’s used in different contexts in different cultures, societies, and countries. Sometimes dating can be casual, and sometimes, it is only taken forward if both the partners are extremely sure about each other. Over the years, the severity, repercussions, processes and the overall structure of dating has changed. In 2020, dating trends have changed, and how!

OPENNESS AND ACCEPTABILITY —
This generation is extremely open to the ideas of being straight or gay in a relationship. There is huge acceptability for people with different sexual and gender perspectives and orientations.

DATING APPS —
Earlier, people used to date their friends or would meet their partners through mutual friends. Now, the trend is of dating strangers. And this trend is facilitated by dating apps like Tinder, Bumble, Happn, Grindr, Hinge and many more. People prefer meeting strangers, to whom they would not have to disclose their complete selves. These dating apps also have a very interesting feature of right-swiping the pictures of the ones you find attractive and would like to meet and left swiping the ones you would like to reject. Due to this trend, there is a huge importance given to external appearance.

GAME —
Nowadays, dating has become more like a game. There is a score kept on the number of people one has dated and the number of months (rather days) the relationship has sustained for.

ONLINE —
Dating in this generation is more about texting and messaging rather than meeting in person and talking. Emojis decide the amount of affection one partner has for the other. Many times partners become so used to messaging each other that they feel awkward when they meet. Also while texting through WhatsApp or other social media platforms, there is a constant exchange of information about letting each other know what is happening in their lives. Because of this, there is a lack of topics to discuss and excitement at the end of the day when partners meet.

HOOKUP –
The dating mantra that everyone is following in 2020 is ‘First physical, then maybe emotional!’ Very different from the older times, when partners used to start slow, get emotionally attached and comfortable with each other, and then think of getting physically intimate, now, physical intimacy is focused on first, and if the relationship sustains for a few months, will the partners think about getting emotionally open and comfortable towards each other.

FLEABAGGING –
This is a term used when individuals purposely keep dating those who they know are wrong for them. This happens either because of a need for a superficial relationship where one does not want to accept themselves or in order to punish themselves and feel some sort of pain.

GHOSTING –
Ghosting is a trend that involves ending a relationship. Here when an individual wants to end a relationship, they suddenly stop all the communication with the other person involved. It could include deleting numbers and blocking the other person on all social media platforms, without giving any reason.

EQUALITY –
Unlike the earlier trends and rules in relationships where men always had to pay for and gift females, dating in 2020 is more about equality. There are equal opportunities where females pay for dinners and outings and ask out men on dates.

Every generation and trend has its own pros and cons. The trends in dating in 2020 are loaded with perspectives of equality and respect; however, there seems to be a lack of an emotional and committed approach towards the relationship and the partner. And because of acceptance and rejections just at the tip of the finger (swiping), there can be a lot of anxiety, stress, panic, depression, suicidal thoughts, loneliness and loss of identity induced.

The best way to have healthy relationships in today’s world would be finding a partner who is ready for emotional openness and acceptance, not hasting into jumping from one relationship to the other, giving enough space to one another, having discussions on topics that matter to you and solving fights in a healthy way. If you find yourself facing any of the above mentioned emotional baggage due to your relationship, the best way ahead would be indulging in couples therapy in order to make sure that you and your partner are on the same page, and to induce healthy habits for the betterment of the relationship.

Image source-pexels

Dishaa Desai

Janvi Sutaria

Psychologist & Outreach Associate